April 21, 2003 I snagged the user name "mutantenemy" and created my first blog here on LiveJournal. Since that time friends have been made, friends have been lost and communities have grown. I am very happy to say that even though I don't visit here as often as I used to, I have created some amazing connections which have withstood dramatic maelstroms and wibbly wobbly stuff.

Friendships forged over time and the webs and we've never physically met. Yet we are still connected. That says something.

You all have stuck with me and I plan to stay, even if my visits are sporadic.

I am impressed by you and may you continue to rock hard.

Geronimo.

It is November 4th, do I know where my word count is?

Actually, yes!  5,012!

My count is right on track and I am very pleased about this.*  Last November was very rough with having to deal with the unexpected death of a friend and then having the heartbreaking task of dealing with his estate Thanksgiving weekend because those legally responsible did not want to.  If it were not for a handful of amazing friends, I would not have survived the month.

I made it through, my NaNo novel did not.  Only 11,000 words and some change were created and I reluctantly admitted defeat with my first NaNo loss.  My six year winning streak was crushed.

NaNoWriMo has hippty-hopped back into my life once more and I have grabbed it by the scruff with determination to win. My boss has assigned herself as my official workplace cheerleader.  A Vancouver ML, and also one of my closest friends, is inspiring me to write like the wind.  And this year, I am really enjoying my story.



This wonderful toon fits my mood nicely.  I have been a NaNo participant since 2006 and in all honesty, it will not matter how many years I have put myself through this 50,000 word agony, I always panic in some form or another.  Last year it was my dismal word count; this year I had no story / character outline until Halloween.  EEEEEP!!  Not a frakin' thing was clicking for me and I really wanted my story to be something I would look forward to writing, not dreading it with all my procrastinating tricks (eg: Chores, reorganizing the sock drawer, hitting the forums, washing the cat, etc).

My standard M.O. is to write in spurts: 3,000 words every other day.  This year I am adopting the not-unheard-of strategy of writing every single day.  Novel concept.**  My goal is to not freak myself out and to find joy in the creative process.  Last year was a NaNo of immense stress and sadness.  I want to change that energy.

This year will be a NaNo of energetic inspiration and humorous creativity!  This year, I shall.....



*Make note how I am not using contractions -- it is a NaNo thing.

**Tacky pun was totally worth it.

My grandmother died yesterday morning. I received word shortly after leaving the gym around 9am. My heart aches and my eyes feel raw.

June Eicher was an artistic, loving, kind, compassionate and, dare I say, slightly mischievous matriarch of my family. She was 95. She would've celebrated her 96th birthday this coming Saturday.

Mom told me she stopped eating and drinking roughly ten days ago. "I suppose she figured it was time to go, but she was going to do it on her terms." Yup, that is a definite trait of an Eicher woman -- stubborn and independent till the end.

I could write more, but I don't want to right now. Maybe in a few days. I lost my last grandparent. My Mom lost her Mom and dear friend.

Ironically, I was beginning to see the light after months of gray regarding my friend's death. Mourning is a complicated process and sometimes I wish I could press that fucking fast forward button. Now, it feels like the sheer gray curtains have drawn themselves over my life again and it will take even more time to get them to part.

Gods, I miss her.

Spring is a fun time of year for me.  It brings my birthday, a high pollen count, and my Knitting Guild's Annual Shop Hop.  Saturday morning all the year's participants rendezvoused at 8:15am. While some waited for the arrival of the rented tourist bus, the rest signed in and grabbed their bag of swag.  The straw bag courtesy of Lantern Moon was filled with patterns, a bottle of water, knitting needles, advertisements, copy of our tour schedule, coupons, and even a granola bar to tide us until lunch.

This event is serious business for some.  Many women stock up their savings all year so they can buy what yarn they need for big projects.  The 20% store discount doesn't hurt either, nor does the awesomeness of NOT HAVING TO DRIVE AND WORRY ABOUT PARKING.

I personally get a kick out of it.  When else can I geek out with fellow Fiber Freaks?

For those of you who don't get this, whose eyes have glazed over while your head lolls to one side in confusion, allow me to offer this tip:  replace "yarn" with "whatever gives you a geek-hard on".  If that's comics, video games, gardening, beer brewing, or even competitive llama yodeling, good on you.  Now envision you and sixty other like-minded geeks touring all the stores that carry what you need to make that hobby happen.

Are you drooling now?

Good.  You've got it.

( We had five stores on the tour and they all treated us like royalty:Collapse )

Dear girls of the world today;

There is nothing wrong with you.

Everything I see, everything I read, everything I hear, is geared toward telling you that something is wrong with you. You're too fat. You're too thin. Your skin is terrible. You look too young. You look too old. You're too smart, you're too dumb, you talk too much, you don't talk enough, you're broken, you're flawed, you're bad. And all those things are lies. They are exaggerations. They are designed to pick on the things you feel insecure about, and convince you that you will never be happy unless you force yourself into their standards of perfection.

They will tell you that you are weak; that girls can't deal with spiders or do math or love snakes or run nations or be scientists. They will tell you that you must be indecisive, flighty, more interested in the interests that are chosen for you than the ones that you choose for yourself. They will tell you that you have to change yourself to suit them, and then they will keep moving the goalposts, so that you're never done changing, and you're never allowed to be you. And they are wrong. They are so, so wrong, and you are better than the lies they tell you.

If you are a girl, you are a girl. Period, finish, end statement. It doesn't matter what you look like or what you enjoy doing. It doesn't matter what your assigned birth sex is or was. It doesn't matter who or what or why you love. All that matters is that you love, and that you accept that you are you, and you are awesome.

It's okay if you love pink. Some girls genuinely do. I genuinely do. Once, we would all have been viewed as cross-dressing and weird for liking pink, which was a male color. Times change. If you want to own your own pinkness, do, and don't let anyone tell you that makes you less of a feminist.

It's okay if you hate pink. You're not denying your gender or letting down the side, or anything else like that. You're a person, and there are a lot of colors out there to fall in love with. I recommend orange, green, and anything that sears your retinas.

Frills and lace and high heels and makeup are all fine. So are denim and combat boots and tattoos. So is everything between those extremes.

Collect dolls or knives or books or interesting rocks. Watch horror movies or romances or cartoons. Run races; go to spas. Eat cake or lettuce. Buy yourself a toy light saber and make your own wooooom noises while you wave it around; build a cardboard castle and chuck plush mushrooms at your would-be rescuers. Live your life, the way you want to live it, and understand that no one can kick you out of "the girl club" for doing it wrong, because you're not.

You're doing it exactly right, and I love you for that.

Corn maze love,
Me.

I adore this woman so hard.

This episode by far the funniest of the season ("Party On Garth" coming in 2nd). Sharp writing, uber geek references, and a quick pace made this one a keeper on my Faves list.

There were SO MANY wonderful lines, mostly uttered by Queen Geek herself, Felicia Day. However, the one which gets me every frakin' time (believe me, I've watched the episode three times already) is from Dean.

"Perfect. It's in the middle of the Death Star."

*SNORFLE* Between Dean's look of "Oh crap" and the way it was delivered, I cannot help but have a giggle fit.

What do you consider your single biggest accomplishment so far?

Oh wow. That is actually a toughie. Not to break the rules or anything, but it's a tie. My biggest accomplishment for me personally has been becoming an ordained priestess after cramming years of study into an accelerated program. And aceing my tests (97% I believe). My focus and passion was intense, more so than when I was in college. LOL! Esoteric Studies yes. Acadamia, not so much.

My biggest accomplishment for someone else...that's a no brainer: taking care of my deceased friend's estate.

You have to pack up and move somewhere else (in the US) where do you choose to settle and why?

Easy. San Juan Islands. I don't care if it's mostly fog and rain up there, but when I visited as a teen I was drawn to the very rustic, very undiluted energy it possessed. Plus, I love orca whales and they have pods that pass by. I could totally see myself in a modernized cabin (with wifi, duh) or a two story victorian styled house where my library would take up half of it.

What's the worst advice you have actually followed?

"Have a shot of Jagermiester! It tastes awesome!"

What historical moment do you remember most clearly? Where were you at the time?

It's the most clear because it was the most unusual. May 18, 1980. Erruption of Mt. St. Helens. I was in the backyard helping my Mom pull weeds out of the garden. My Dad was at the front of the house mowing the lawn. He called Mom over. Then she called me. I ran out to the drivway and saw my parents, my brother, and my neighbors all looking towards the north. I was short and couldn't see, so we all ran up to the highest hill in the neigborhood. Sitting perfectly clear on the horizon was the volcano, full plume of ash errupted impressively into the sky.

You get to adopt one song as your personal anthem - what is it?

"The Firebird (Suite 1919)" by Igor Stravinsky

Late night snack time! You crave a strange, late-night-only sandwich. What goes on it?

Sandwich? Nah, I wouldn't do a sandwich. I would do chips 'n bean dip. Or potato chips and that awesome onion/bacon dip. Or if I was feeling particularly dangerous, raw chocolate chip cookie dough.

And finally, your least favorite color?

Pink.

I cannot believe I allowed my Livejournal's anniversary to slip on by. In my defense, I was out and about in the sunshine (with sunscreen, naturally) yesterday as I attended a Tarot Intensive meet-up and then my monthly Writers Group shin-dig. Ironically, the Writers Group has morphed into more of a Muse Support Group as we encourage each other's creativity, projects, and any spiritual studies.

As of yesterday, my journal, MUTANTENEMY is now officially 9 years old! Holy awesome hell, Batman!!

Honestly, back in 2006? 2007? when I purchased a permanent account, I was hoping I wasn't tossing my blood, sweat, and tears into something that would go kaput shortly thereafter. I am happy to say, it has been worth every drop.

Another milestone, this exact entry will now bring my combined posts up to 1,200. That may not seem a lot to some, but it is for me.

If it weren't for Livejournal, I would never have met the amazing, effulgent, supportive and talented friends raven_moon, velvetwhip, lilbreck, oreadno1, scratchingpost1, snogged, hope_guides_me, and the list goes on and on and on.

Some of you have been with me since the beginning, some of you have recently joined my life in the past year or two. Regardless, I have learned that friendships developed online can be just as solid and important as the ones you make face to face.

Thank you all for being with me on this journey.